00:00

first, take care of yourself. You have to be in a good place before you start dating. And dating should not be a situation for a man or for a woman, because I’m not going to discriminate, but it tends to gravitate more for the woman side to see what someone can do for you financially. Welcome back to The Shirley Show.

00:26

I am your host Shirley.  Our discussions are going to be ranging from personal life experiences,  infidelity, trust, forgiveness, sex, heartbreak, self-love, and so much more.  Let’s dive in, pull up a seat,  make sure you’re cozy,  and get ready to be challenged and encouraged while you learn with me, your virtual girlfriend. Welcome back to another episode of Shirley’s show. And today we’re going to be talking about

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Dating in 2025. We’re gonna be offering some thoughts, opinions, feedback on things that we’re hearing out here in society, especially social media. Of course, we don’t know what it feels like to date in 2025 because we are 28 years in.

01:20

And 28 years ago, of course, things look a whole lot differently when. And that’s why we should not be having this topic.  But anyway, have to talk about dating because we do have two children that are starting in the dating world. So it’s important that  they will at some point in time, they possibly will listen to this podcast. But we also have one-on-one with our kids. you know, society is influential.

01:49

So we have to make sure we feed them the right information and not be driven by some of the foolishness that we’re hearing out there. So let’s  get this conversation started. Before we get this conversation started, I am going to be sharing my screen and playing a clip that I heard that influenced me to have this conversation. Kaleep hasn’t heard the clip yet.

02:19

but  it’s going to be very interesting for him as well because it’s a female talking and even me as a female,  I just felt like some of the things that she was saying was a bit delusional. Now, respectfully, we live in a very opinionated world. As we know, this podcast is based off of  our own life experiences. So  there’s no  written handbook to dating  and we’re not trying to gatekeep

02:48

um gatekeep dating information like we know it all.  But there are definitely some delusional conversations and opinions that are shared out there that I wanted to comment about. I basically was moving from a beat to be having free conversations. I had somebody reach out to me. They had been reaching out to me in my DMs  and I was kind of ignoring it, just leaving them all ready because I’m not interested.  And today,

03:17

They  consistently messaged me. And so I said, okay, I’ll answer. This morning I had a shampoo appointment. And so I answered and they were like, am I deserving, man? said, I don’t converse with men  that I don’t know. And they said, well, let’s change that. And I said, well, I’m actually on the way to go get my hair done. You gonna contribute to that? If I’m trying to have a conversation with you soon as with me, the first thing coming out your mouth is money. You’re leaving with money.

03:49

You are fucking ho. Period. They sent a long here asking you to explain why they should do that. And they said, now they understand the kind of woman that I am. On and on and on. And I said, no problem. No worries. Have a good day. I feel like this. I pay for my, I keep my nails done, keep my toes done. So nails, toes every month. I get my hair done every month. This is a luxury style. I get my, I keep my hair up, right?

04:18

So getting my hair done every month, nails, toes, hair, I own my home. I got an acre of land. I have to get my grass cut. do yard, I get my yard work done by myself. All of that is covered by myself. I have a nice body. I get that done in the gym. I have a gym membership. I clothe my nice body with nice clothes. And so I have to go shopping and I wear makeup, which I enjoy. And in the comments, I don’t care what you got to say about makeup, but I also spend money on that. And so to upkeep, to keep this up.

04:48

I also eat on a meal plan that I have created. And so for that meal plan, I have to go grocery shopping to eat off of the meal plan that I’ve created. So all of this takes money. All of this takes, it takes money to upkeep this. And so why am having free conversations? And it is okay. It is okay if you don’t feel the way that I feel and you are having free conversations. But I think about this, especially if you’re messaging me when I’m on the way to an appointment where I’m about to spend hundreds of dollars to get my hair washed and you…

05:16

I’m continuing to have this point where I’m spending $100 on myself and you’re interested in me? No, I don’t have free conversations. And I implore you, if you are a woman, if you’re a woman who takes great care of herself and does great things for herself and keys herself up, think about whether you’re having free conversations. Let’s treat my phone like it still has minutes and you’re not using mine up. That’s it, love you, bye. So,  this was  the reason why

05:43

it sparked this topic for me to initiate dating in 2025. Now, based off of the information that she shared in that little clip on Instagram, I applaud her, number one, because she has a lot going for herself and she seems like based off of the information she shared with us, she’s taking care of herself very well. And that’s the reason why I applaud her. So we’re going to talk about the positive first, because that’s a great thing.

06:13

You know, you shouldn’t expect someone else to take care of you based on the lifestyle You would like to have for yourself. So I applaud her for that where the delusion starts for me  and This is no disrespect on what she has to say. Everyone’s not going to favor to what she’s saying I don’t favor a hundred percent to what she’s saying and if she was my friend  and my girlfriend and we were close

06:41

I would share the same information with her. So it’s no different if I’m a stranger. But for you to say conversation is not free, the reason I think that’s delusional is how are you supposed to get to know someone if communication and conversation doesn’t take place? You have to converse.  So  you’ve already created this delusional thought in your mind that conversation ain’t free and you need to pay to speak to me.  Now,

07:10

Who does she really think she is, the fact that she’s already created this crazy idea in her mind that someone needs to pay for her time and service? Basically, it seems like she’s marketing herself. Can I make a joke? Sure. It’s gonna go on though. This is not just a joke. This is a joke with some statements behind it, right?

07:35

First of all, she got a big forehead. She shouldn’t be talking like that. All right, one. All right, two, you’re advertising your upkeep. All right, that’s what you’re doing. So if you actually get somebody that’s attracted to you, you want them to speak money to you. No. All right, if you’re taking care of 100 % of yourself and he’s taking care of 100 % of himself, at the end of the day, if y’all two decide to bond, don’t think he’s gonna give you that 100%.

08:05

All right, y’all gonna go into that 50-50. I’m sorry sweetheart, as a real one. Know what mean? That’s just gonna be respectful, but you got a big forehead. Swear to God you do.  So,  to continue what I was saying, I hear what you’re saying, but I’m not even gonna feed into that, but I did see what you saw.  But we’re gonna leave it at that  and everybody else will see what you saw.

08:35

when the video was played. But that’s the reason why I think it’s delusional. I think, I don’t think, I understand where she’s coming from.  She wants to be with someone who’s going to be able to  upkeep that lifestyle for her. But how she’s starting the approach is a negative because you have to converse.

09:04

in order for you to get to know someone.  And no man has no right and obligation to just straight out the door just to give you money when they don’t know you. I don’t know what world you live in and what man is doing that because if I was a man,  that is not the type of woman I would want and that’s not the type of approach I’m taking. There is a way to be classy and to receive  what you want.

09:32

with a whole different approach. And to me, her approach is trashy, not classy at all. We need go back to the old fashioned ways where the women stay home and stay in the moo moo. And when the husband get off work, he dropping dick off. I’m sorry. Because the way she talking is crazy, man. She crazy. You so silly. Well, I mean, it’s the truth. I get She’s crazy. But that’s another thing we need to talk about. There’s someone else. because listen, Back in like, back in the day, you know what mean? Like, you gotta think about it. My grandpa had…

10:02

a total of 13 kids, right? He had a total of 13 kids. My grandma, yeah, she did work and everything else like that. But at the same time, he loved her for who she was. Only time that I might see her and say it, which I truly honestly don’t know because she passed before I was born, but my grandpa accepted his wife for who she was, you know what mean? A pure individual with an afro. Now I mean, no makeup needed unless we was going out somewhere nice.

10:31

and she was a very beautiful woman.

10:35

Nah, they need to go back to the old fashioned days, man. Put her in a motherfucking muumuu, nigga, no makeup. I bet you that forehead be bigger, because her hair ain’t gonna be done.

10:45

Well, that’s why it’s important for us to talk about this because we do have children who are now starting out in the dating world.  And I definitely don’t want my daughter to be this delusional and think that some guy is supposed to be paying for time with her and immediately out the door, she’s supposed to expect money from them. Now, our child, of course, does not think that way at this moment in time.

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but I definitely don’t want it to go down that path. For what I have seen,  basically like when she was in her relationship,

11:23

The film,  was kind of sort of us. The film was neutral. Everything was 50-50, you know? um You do for me, I do for you. Nothing is expected on the back end type stuff. But go ahead, because I got some more I want to talk about.  Now, there’s another young lady that I follow  and  she talks about having the soft life. And I do  like  the message she’s putting out there because she has seen both sides.

11:52

She’s older. I think she’s our age when I say older  and she has a 19 year old child. So her son is a big  an adult, a young adult  and she married an older  man.  Um, and I didn’t share that here because the message she’s promoting is more the soft life. She is marketing the soft life and you know,

12:21

how to have a man take care of you and take care of everything that you need. But here’s my approach on her. And I like the message that she’s putting out there, but the problem with the soft life, I do perceive that that message is really  getting taken out of proportion because we live in a time where,  be told, two incomes is very important in most household nowadays. um

12:50

Not everyone is going to be able to have the luxury to have a job that can pay for everything and some. That means in this day and age, you need to be really truly making one individual at least $150,000 or more a year for you to

13:19

comfortably be able to pay the bills and some and that’s also a moderate lifestyle at 150 or more a year. You’re not really living large because everything nowadays is high. A decent, we’re going to say two bedroom apartment because let’s say at 150 you have a two bedroom, let’s say apartment, you don’t have a house yet. We’re looking at

13:48

and easy, what I’m seeing is anywhere from about 1,800  or more a month, depending on area. So that’s the reason why I’m saying 150 or more a year you need to be making for  one person to be able to pay the bills. And also that includes rent,  maybe mortgage,  gas,  electric, cell phone bill.

14:17

And those are the four primary accessories. That’s if you have a car, because this is why I’m talking about moderate lifestyle, because it depends on what you have going on. You could have maybe bought a car and paid it off. So this is why I’m saying moderate lifestyle. And you might be able to have two children with that income. One, definitely, if it’s just you, your significant other, and one child at $150,000 a year, one person’s making that.

14:46

the other person may not be working or maybe making less,  very doable. But if you’re looking at two kids, that’s questionable because now you’re looking into a three bedroom house  or apartment  and that’s gonna bring you at maybe like now we’re looking at $2,500 or more with everything else you have going on. So it is very expensive, you know.

15:14

I remember our son was about six or seven. He was the kid that asked a lot of questions. And he came to me one time and he said, mommy, why do you work? And I said to him respectfully, I said, because in our household, we need two incomes. We both have to work to make sure all the bills are paid. And he looked at me, he says, I want you to stay home.

15:41

And it just goes to show you the innocence of children that they don’t really understand what’s going on, the financial situation at that age. I think he was about five or six, I want to say, when he asked me that question, because they wanted me to stay home and they really couldn’t understand why I had the work and why I couldn’t just be home with them. And at the time they wanted me to homeschool, which I wasn’t for. I wasn’t homeschooling even if they wanted me to.  But it also made me think like,

16:11

These children have no concept of how much things cost, what’s going on, what’s happening out here. But also, it also made me think was this influence maybe by friends at school or maybe what they could possibly be seeing or hearing or if they’re hearing that they’re friends.  at that time they weren’t even on social media. know, so that’s I was thinking, could have been TV. You’re absolutely right about that. It could have been TV because.

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you know, we did allow our children to watch TV. But when he asked that question, it made me think like, hmm, he’s obviously hearing or seeing something and now he sees his mom is working and he’s trying to understand, well, why can’t you stay home? You know, from whatever it is that he saw or heard. And I told him, and he accepted the answer. There was no like great debate about it. And I think he just ended, he was like, well, I want you to stay home. And I told him I can’t.

17:06

You know, because we’ve always needed two incomes in our house. That’s just the way our lifestyle is, the way everything is. It’s two incomes. That’s just how it always been. Now to say a man, because that’s the other thing I hear, a man is less than a man if he can’t truly provide for his whole house. I’ve seen this guy too.  I forgot what his name is. He, um I think he has two wives, but he promotes that a man

17:36

should not allow his wife to work at all. And when I hear things like that, I feel like, what is the world coming to and what kind of messages are we really sending to our young adults to make them think that as women, we don’t need to work? I think in my mind, it’s not that I think, I know that if a man is a…

18:04

a leader or not even a leader. If a man financially isn’t a good situation where he has no problem at all tending to his family financially and can pay all the bills, I don’t think it’s going to be up for discussion, but I definitely don’t believe that should be a deal breaker when you are dating. And if he is either making equals you or a little less than you,

18:33

then you should automatically dismiss this individual. So this is why I wanted to talk about dating in 2025, because there’s a lot of messages being sent out, both from the male and female community, and our young adults have to understand what makes sense. Dating in 2025, social media has put a lot of negative

19:04

into  young minded or weak minded individuals. like you gotta think about it. There’s scammers out there. So,  all right, cool.  You want a man with money? You might have a scammer. Little do you know, he might be scamming you too. You know,  there’s  no…

19:25

real morals into.

19:31

If I take 100 % of myself, I I invest 100 % of myself to make sure I look good for a man. And then once I get that man, he gotta invest his full 100 % in me and I get to keep my money. Nah, it never work like that for me, sweetheart. I’m trying to tell you, because let me tell you something, If I come to you…

19:53

and be that man of, I’ll give you the money, make sure the bill’s paid, this and this and that, make sure the kid’s good, this and this and that, cool. When I call you for some lunch money or I need some gas money, cool, that’s the whole check, mind you. Just let you know that, all right, that’s the whole check. But if you’re everything on your own, 100%, right, you’re not in a relationship, but you’re just doing everything on your own, 100%, and I’m doing everything on my own, 100%, so I’m taking care of all my responsibilities and everything else like that. You’re doing the same thing on your side.

20:22

If we decide to collab to be one, we’re gonna split that 50-50. So I get to save my money, you get to save your money.  So at the end of the day, if it doesn’t work out for us, we can equally part our ways and go back to taking care of 100 % of ourself. I know I saved some money, I know you saved some money. um And that’s the way I see it. That’s truly and honestly the way I see it. As far as when we wanna talk about our kids, um I have had conversations with them, know.

20:52

dating cool, don’t take nothing serious until you know that you’re established. What I mean by that is, already have your house, already have everything you want before you really wanna settle down with an individual. I don’t mind my kids staying with me until they buy their first house. I don’t mind it, 100 % I don’t mind it. know, because at the end of the day, I don’t need nobody saying this is mine, you can leave.

21:23

Now she didn’t invest all that time or he didn’t invest all that time. You know what mean? And they got kicked out. No, we’re not doing that. So what  I promote to my kids is y’all can stay with us as long as y’all need to. When y’all save up enough money to actually  buy a house with a nice down payment, furnish the house, you know, and still have a comfortable amount of money saved away, you’re good to go. So that way nobody can sit here and say, I did this.

21:52

this is mine, whatever the case may be. At that point, the rules are now reversed, but never use them.

22:01

If you feel as though you are comfortable,  the door is for you if you want to go there. Do I love you? Yes. Do I respect you? Yes. But if you feel as though this is not working out for me, I’m already established. know, maybe she can be established, have her own house too, want to sell her house to move in, or he can sell his house, move in, whatever the case may be. But I would like for my kids to be established far enough to where they don’t have to depend on nobody and nobody can sit here and try and put them down when they’re already up.

22:33

I agree. 100%. We’re 100 % on that because we both agree that we are completely okay. We actually have encouraged our children once they’re done school to come back home and allow them to save a bit of money. Not even save a bit, save quite a bit before they move out on their own. Preferably, we would rather them purchase a home than rent. So…

23:04

That’s just how we feel that we would  rather them have their own before they move into someone else’s property. And then if it is something serious,  then maybe you can rent yours,  sell it,  save your proceeds, and then you can jointly get something with someone and go into a 50-50 purchase type of situation.

23:33

But what do you have to say for, of course, I didn’t play the clip, but I think you might have heard of him because he’s gone viral a few times on Instagram and Facebook about the male who believes that a man should be paying all of his women bills, the delusion, in my honest opinion, is on both sides. That was a man that came from a good home,  and he’s seen with, just my opinion.

24:02

It probably was a man that came from a good home and his father was stable enough to take care of everything within the household.  And that’s what he promotes, you know? He promotes giving that 100 % as long as the woman is gonna give him her 100%. What I mean by the 100%, I mean everything that he asks, she does. So  I don’t know if that was his message, because I don’t follow him. Like I said, I don’t know, but I’m just giving my opinion. Gotcha. It was a clip I heard.

24:32

And he basically in the clip, what he’s saying is that.

24:38

A man should not allow his woman to work. A man should be able. That’s why I didn’t play the clip and I’m speaking from what I’ve heard of. Now I know you’re trying to make it seem… old fashioned ways. He’s talking about old stay home with a moomo. But when I need you, I need you. I don’t know if he… Well, here’s the thing. Let’s take the joking aside and let’s look at it from both perspectives because it seems like…

25:04

You seem to be on the positive side of the man of the old fashioned ways, but this girl, the video that we just watched,  she’s promoting the same thing. It’s just her approach about it is negative,  but she’s basically saying the same thing in the message.  You need to be able to carry my lifestyle. And if you can’t, I don’t need you. The thing is her approach is just to me, it’s a little trashy because you don’t know the gentleman who’s reaching out to you.

25:33

how much he has and how much he doesn’t have.  And if he’s not throwing money at you, it seems like you’re not receiving anything from him. She just needs to, my opinion, have a different approach. I’m not saying she’s wrong in her message. And if a man can carry all that, that’s great for her. I’m proud for her. But  she doesn’t know that if she’s turning all these men down before a conversation can even take Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. Let tell you something. This is just me.

26:02

This is really just me. Any female.

26:08

where they open their mouth and it just sound like money. I don’t want to be bothered with it. I feel as though it’s ignorance. Because at the end of the day, if a man loves you enough,  you ain’t gotta ask. He’s just gonna do. You feel me? So for her to see him, oh, I’m doing this, but I can have this conversation, but my time is gonna cost you. You  know what I mean? You ain’t saying that to your boss.

26:33

When you’re boss, when you making that anywhere from let’s just throw numbers out there anywhere from $20 an hour all the way up to $45 an hour, you’re only giving your boss eight hours out of that day.

26:49

So that’s really nothing.  The man that you deal with, he’s going to give you all that plus. When it comes to taking you out to eat, he’s paying the bill. When it comes to going on cruises or flights, just traveling in general, he’s footing that. Nine times out of 10, a man is footing a lot of this stuff. So when a woman comes off with the ignorance of opening her mouth and her first, and all her words just sound like money coming out.

27:20

Yeah, no, you’re losing me. Shut it down. Not for me.

27:26

So I guess what’s the?

27:30

So do you see both the negative and positive in her message? Because let’s look. No, I don’t see no positive in her message. You don’t see a positive? I don’t see no Well, the positive in her message. I see ignorance in her message.  I truly see ignorance. The ignorance is her approach. She opened her mouth sounding like money. But if you listen to her, she does everything for herself. That’s why I gave her the kudos. But she wants a man to continue that. So  if she finds a man that’s willing to upkeep her lifestyle,

28:00

which is basically what you just said. She don’t look like she gonna get a millionaire. Did you see her forehead?  I can’t with you. I’m, she, listen, now I’m not saying she ugly. I’m not saying she’s ugly, but the energy she gives off is not gonna attract the people that. Maybe she gonna come back and attack you. don’t She gonna be like, this fool got a patch on his eye.  Don’t care, don’t care. And I got jokes for days.

28:29

You is not the one for me, baby. Trust me. You beautiful. But the way you come off in your conversations, whatever the case may be,  the words that you speak just sounds like money. And at the end of the day, it can be ignorance because at the of the day, the man that wants to take you serious.

28:49

will be a fool because he’s accepting of your ignorance.

28:55

That’s how I see it.

28:58

I don’t mind going above and beyond for my lady. That’s no problem. You know what mean? But at the same time…

29:07

You might be saying all this, but you’re not saying what you would do for that man. And that’s what’s wrong with today’s society. Women want, want, want, want, want. But then when it comes to a man, it’s almost like I don’t got it. You feel me? A man will say here, and help you be successful.

29:29

Right? There’s a lot of men out there that would do it. 100 % A lot. But as soon as he fall on bad terms, that woman that he helped be successful, you probably got a third of them that’s gonna sit here and build him back up. Now it’s a good topic that you bring up. What do men want? Aside from sex? Peace. What do men want? Peace. Stay with mines. Clean household. Good food. It’s called

29:58

Stomach full, balls drained. If you wanna be technical. Stomach full, balls drained. Sit and peace. That’s why when you be talking sometimes, I really don’t pay you no mind. You do pay me mind. Yeah, I listen to you, I hear you, but I don’t need to respond. Yeah, I pay you, I do. You’re more sensitive than you are to you just,  oh listen. That’s got me stuttering. Got me stuttering.  Oh, listen.

30:26

I pay attention to the words that you speak, but I do not like to conversate about it. You can be a softie behind those Yes, I can do, I guess. I can, 100%. But I’m trying tell you, you just be talking sometimes, and I’ll just be like, shut the fuck up. I’m gonna be honest, you know what mean? I don’t say it to her. You know what my response is when she wants to have a conversation? Stop. What do you mean, stop? I got everything you’ve been saying already. I done summed everything up. Like, you’re taking…

30:56

things left field already. Like, no, just stop. Oh, what you trying to create a problem? No, I’m not trying to create a problem. I heard everything you said. You don’t need to drag on the conversation because the way my brain functions is not the way your brain functions. I do quick thinking. You feel me? You just want to give the full story. And then at the end, like, the moral of the story, when I’m like, bitch, I already done summed this up, bitch. All right, cool. Prime example. We gonna use that washing machine. I mean that dryer.

31:26

We gonna use that dryer, right? The dryer went down today. She was sitting here doing her due diligence. All right, cool, just let me know. Let you know what? When you’re ready to do it. Talking about purchasing the dryer, just let me know. All right, cool. It’s done. It’s literally done, but she’s still talking about it. You know what I say? Stop. When the washing machine went out. You know what mean? She all the way in another state working, whatever the case may be.

31:58

I found out it goes down, whatever the case may be, because she tells me, do one of the kids. And  I went to Motherfucker Home Deep on Ray’s Hell, bitch, where I needed a motherfucker to watch, because I didn’t want to hear her mouth about how she got home.

32:12

For real, I don’t wanna hear your mouth. I try to be as peaceful as possible. You know, I’m an asshole. Yeah, I create some fucking problems, but I try and be as peaceful as possible.

32:25

And guess what? Everything works out for the best. Everything is handled, done. Dragging it on doesn’t help. So guess what? When you try to talk to me later on in the day and I tell you to stop, leave me the fuck alone. Lies. Ain’t no fucking lies, I’m telling the truth. This is on your podcast, not mine. You love when I’m conversating. I know it’s in the motherfuckers. You ever been watching a good TV show and the motherfucker just come in here and have a 30 minute conversation bitch and the TV show is only for…

32:54

57, get off me, don’t touch me. 57 minutes and she done took 30 minutes of conversation. Now you gotta rewind back to where the fuck you left off because she interrupted it. Let’s get back on topic. Dating in 2025. This is like dating, motherfucker. No, it’s not. You even said, when I told you about the topic, you were like, we’re not dating. Why are we talking about this? Yeah, but all right, cool. Back on the subject. Like I told my son, stay as single as long as possible.

33:25

females are a nuisance. So my daughter, focus on yourself. Once you’re established, focus on what you want in your life.

33:39

Dating in 2025, when it comes to the cost of living these days, 50-50 is ideal. That’s the most logical way, but you know there’s a lot of negativity when it comes to 50-50. Now, granted, the type of man you are, you’re a bit old school. So of course you wouldn’t mind 100 % if you were able to do 100 % and more.

34:09

But realistically, is 50-50 ideal these days? Yes, even if this is 60-40. And the thing about it is nobody really knows what the 50-50 is. It don’t gotta be financially.

34:27

I don’t gotta be sexually is just. What does that mean if it doesn’t have to be financially in your mind? 50 50 50 as a whole just.

34:37

How would I say, that’s a good one. I got a thing about this. 50 50 for me.

34:46

Or just in general 50-50 is just, oh, you got me fucking cooking in this goddamn brain. I don’t like this. Sorry. I got to think about this. So serious. Well, from what I gather, what you’re trying to say is 50-50, you’re right, does not have to be financial because let’s say you may have a couple that does go 50-50. 50-50 could be

35:15

All right, honey, I’m going pay all the  main bills. When I say main bills, rent or mortgage, PSE and G, water and phone bills.  Those could be the main bills that the  husband will pay. The wife possibly could be responsible for all the kids needs, all the extracurricular activity, things that come up such as basketball, soccer, gymnastics, dance.

35:44

all the activities that children participate in, which itself can be costly. And if she’s working, she can contribute to that. If she’s working, of course, when we say 50-50. I got one better. like, know, like Prime example, like when we go out to eat, you know, I’ll pay the bill, you leave the tip. To me, that’s 50-50. Yeah. So you’re right.  I understood what you mean about 50-50 because 50-50 can look differently in every household. And sometimes 50-50 doesn’t necessarily have to be financial.

36:14

because you can have someone who is paying all the bills and doing everything. And if she is a stay at home mom, the cleaning of the house, and the maintaining the home in a cleanly matter without having to hire a maid because maybe they can’t afford to do that with everything else they’re paying for, making sure cooked meals are ready every day. That can also be a breakdown of what 50-50 Stay at home mom need to be in the mood mood for the most motherfucking part.

36:44

If I complain about how ugly you looking at Moo Moo, bitch, I’m buying you another one.  You worried out too many times, nigga.  She needs a new sexy Moo Moo. Needs a new Moo I Moo Moos. that’s what 50-50  means to you in your mind. In every household, 50-50 is a different set up at times. So I’m assuming that’s what you mean by 50-50 doesn’t always have to be financial  or sexual. I’ll take care of this part. You take care of that part.

37:12

I do this, you do that. It’s no like our example, you you take care inside the house, I’ll take care of the outside of the house, know, stuff like that. No, it’s just a fine balance where y’all can be equal. So you’re still giving up that a hundred percent. Got it. But it’s together, it’s combined. Got it. Now, if you were dating, to give you an example, because I know you said you have no positive to pull from that clip you just watched.

37:41

which her message. Don’t care about her message. Her message. I don’t care about her. I’m sorry. don’t care about her message, babe. But you know, we do have other listeners and I don’t want them to, because we’re not here to bash this young lady. I’m not bashed. I just don’t care about her message. We just are trying to have people see things from a different perspective.  I understand what she’s trying to say. What she’s trying to say is I want somebody to take.

38:07

care of she want to be catered to she wants to be paid to now financially. Oh, but it’s just the more my time is money.  problem is and  fuck that. The problem is right. This is the realest fucking shit ever. Right. A man will do above and beyond for his fucking woman, but a woman will never do. I ain’t gonna say she will never.

38:33

A woman does the most she wants to do for the man.  The most she wants to do? The most she wants to do. The most she wants to do. Because once she feel as though that nigga can’t do what the fuck she want him to do no more, she’s leaving. For the most part. That’s the way she fucking sounds to me. She’s not even in a relationship.  Guess what? And you wonder fucking why.  Well…

39:03

I fuck that. I mean, she’s not even a relationship. I you wonder why. Well, I don’t wonder why. I’m just thinking about that clip for the moment. She’s not in a relationship right now and her approach is just trashy. don’t. I’m not saying it’s trashy. It is trashy. It’s not trashy. It’s ignorance. Yes.

39:26

That’s it’s not she’s like we’re gonna bash her and say she’s ignorant I mean that she’s trapped like the way she come off is trashy. No, no, no She  she lives to a standard that she likes  opposite of classy. That’s why I’m saying trash No, she’s no, she’s just ignorant. She’s not trashy. She’s she’s she can be classy, but she lives she has classy ignorance I think there’s some time probably some type of trauma. No, we won’t say that we’re not judging her

39:51

We’re not judging her. I’m just saying the words that she- it’s not judgmental, babe. It’s just an opinion. All right, well, it’s a judgmental opinion. Why do you say judgmental? We don’t know her. Even us pulling up this video and talking about her, we’re being judgmental. I’m just saying her words are ignorance because the way she speaks just sounds like money. And at the end of the day, you can’t say to her, say, the reason he’s saying that is because he’s broke. This is a no. I’m actually good. I’m well off. You know, if I want something, I can go get it. No problem.

40:22

simple. Got good credit score too, both of us.  Bottom line.

40:27

At the end of the day, her words sound like money to me. That sound like when I was in these motherfucking streets, ripping and fucking running, and all these motherfucking females that was looking good went for all the niggas that was making all the motherfucking money. And now they had these babies and these bitches out here looking broke. Well, that’s a whole different topic. it’s the same shit. It’s shit. Man, listen A female will only want a man.

40:58

because he looks like he got money. If you dress like money, listen, first of all, you take consideration. Nah, listen, pause, whoa. I ain’t saying you. Now, this is what I’m tell you, right? The ignorance of life, right? All urban areas are faking till you fucking make it, all right? You go in any suburban area, the motherfuckers got money, some of them might be broke. Same with vice versa, you know? But at end of the day,

41:26

When you go to these suburban areas, these people are already established where they have houses, they got driveways, they got backyards, they got pools, everything else like that, right? And they don’t walk around like they got money. They walk around broke. They walk around looking broke. We got these people in these urban fucking areas that show off they fucking money.

41:52

You know,  and I mean like, all right, cool. If you got a million dollars on the bank, make it two, make it three. If you got a hundred dollars in the bank,  make it two, make it three. It’s gonna add the fuck up. They say zeros worth nothing, right? But if you put a one in front of it, a two in front of it, a three in front of it, and keep on adding these motherfucking zeros behind it, guess what? You coming to fuck up.

42:15

but people  live their life based off of how  they want.

42:25

person to be. But these females, certain ones, only look for the best interests of them and not for the best interests of the man. Some of

42:39

What can I benefit from this person?

42:45

A man might go into the situation looking at it like, right, yeah, she cool, I would like to hit it. You feel me? You know what mean? You gotta take into consideration, Your first fucking time you fuck this bitch is a goddamn interview.

42:59

You know what I’m going run? It’s an interview, For him or for her? For both of Yeah, it’s her interview and his. Because of his bad sex, neither one of them persons want to deal with each other, right? I mean, to comment off of what you said, think men go into relationships not necessarily thinking about what a woman can do for them financially. Not at all. Admit to that.

43:28

I don’t have statistics, I don’t have numbers, but just  throughout life in itself and the wisdom  I have. Men don’t go into relationships thinking about what this woman can do for me financially.  But I do see that message conveyed a lot where women go into relationships thinking,  what can he do for me financially?  Men, I believe, go into this relationship thinking,

43:57

Well, if she’s working, that’s great. I’ll take that.  You know, but she doesn’t have to have the best job in the world.  So that’s the thing. As long as you’re doing something, that you can get as you’re something. And then if she, you know, if later on in the relationship, a choice is made between the two of you that she’s going to stay home,  that’s a mutual agreement. Because first of all, you don’t technically meet a woman who’s  not typically working.

44:25

If she decides to stay home, that’s a decision that’s made later on in life. So,  and also men think about, I think, can she cook?  She better know how to cook.  I think these are the things I’m thinking men think about is can she cook, can she clean? These are the things I believe men think of, but men don’t go into relationships thinking, well, I wonder if she can contribute to my haircut every month.  I wonder if she can contribute.

44:54

to my gym membership every month. Men don’t think about those things, but women, we do think of those things in My upkeep is for me. When we are in that dating.

45:09

dating world, you know, and I don’t feel like it’s all women either. I’m not saying all women.  The more mature women that are a bit more established.  This young lady, I don’t think she’s older than 45, but I can’t put her younger than 35 from the way she looking. I got one. I got one better. me, I feel like she’s a little mature  to be talking in that aspect.

45:33

That’s the reason why I’m saying the thing she’s saying is coming from a past relationship where she must’ve been financially drained  because she’s talking about she got one acre of land and all this stuff. That’s a woman that’s 35 plus, I feel.  She, no, I don’t to put an age on it, but anyway, forget all that, right? So I’m gonna give you something, man, right? When you met me, you I was just ripping around in the streets, whatever case it may be,  you actually helped me grow and put myself in.

46:02

we’re at right now, this establishment, right? And I applaud you for that, you feel me? Now, with that being said, there is somebody else within our life, within our surroundings that had did the same thing to their significant other. He was up and running the streets, she was well off, master’s degree, everything else like that.

46:25

He.

46:28

bettered himself for her because she was only  pushing him to do better.

46:38

We have a mutual friend like Yes, we have a family member like that.  A family member.  They’re now married. They’ve been married for a couple of years. eh But yeah, he was the same as me. We outside, we  in the streets, we ripping, we running, we trying to get to this money.  And  basically, you come into my life  and  me with my ignorance of ignoring it and everything else like that, as I got older, I seen it and I accepted it.

47:08

and the same will go for him on his side. He’s seen it, he accepted it. And y’all two women, which is my favorite cousin, my favorite female cousin, you know what I mean? Like for real, those are real women. Those like you and her, y’all are real women. You know I mean? Y’all coming in like, got my own, you know what I mean?

47:38

When I need you, I need you, but do what’s,  get yourself on your feet. But if I need you, just be there for me. That’s how y’all come off. Today’s society of females are not like that because they chasing what the fuck they see. If you take away all this fucking social media shit.

47:57

Some of these females won’t know what to do.

48:01

They wouldn’t.

48:04

It’s God on his truth. You take away what you’re looking at every day and distilling in your mind because you like what you see and you’re pushing for it and everything else, you’re manifesting it, you feel me? And pushing for it. But at end of the day, no, it don’t work. It doesn’t fucking work. Get somebody that got you just as well as you having them.

48:28

plain and simple. If they push for you to do better, you push for them to do better. Y’all have a common ground and a well fucking balance.

48:38

So the message we want to provide today as we  near our closing of this podcast  is the same message  we have and will continue to provide to our children. Stay sucker free. Always  make sure that needs… The person that you’re interested in has your best interests just as well as you have theirs. Yeah, but before you get to that, number one is…

49:08

Take care yourself first. Make sure you’re in a good place in life. um You’re an adult. It’s not anyone’s responsibility to take care of you. Even when you get to a certain point in life, you also now have to detach yourself from your parents  and not always assuming that you can rely on them.  Now, of course, um we can dive deeper into that conversation, but what I’m saying is,

49:36

Once you start to get into adulthood, you have to learn how to figure out your own problems. So that’s the reason why is first, take care of yourself. You have to be in a good place before you start dating. And dating  should not be  a situation for a man  or for a woman, because I’m not going to discriminate, but it tends to gravitate more for the woman side to see what someone can do for you financially.

50:06

when you start dating somebody, you have to converse with them. And converse should not involve time or money because you have to communicate, you have to talk to get to know  that Well, that will still be time. That will still be time. It shouldn’t involve money. Because at the end of the day,

50:26

You can do a lot of things without money. Like, you know, next week our date, you what mean? We gonna be cooking on the engine and shit. We’re stuck.

50:37

I always throw me off track. um

50:42

So,  uh.

50:47

You have to converse with someone. You have to have a conversation with them.  As in the video you just saw, the young lady said, time is money. That’s what I mean by time.

51:03

Don’t assume that someone has to pay for anything for you upfront when you’re dating. And you know, this message is for anybody who’s going to receive it. It’s probably primarily  for the younger generation.  It’s just not the right approach for a relationship. No one owes you anything right off the bat. You gotta get to know somebody. You have to first see if you’re compatible,  if you even like their family, if you like the way they even smell, the smell they’re getting off. I don’t even know.

51:32

You know, you have to  check these things first before you start talking about finances, because if you’re in a struggling situation where you’re barely able to eat, you can’t now about to be dating and starting a relationship  and assume that on the first date that this person is supposed to financially throw everything they have at you. It just doesn’t work like that.  At least not in my world.  I don’t think

52:02

that’s the correct approach when it comes to dating. Then when you start talking to them and you guys get to know each other, then you can start throwing in finances in there because in the past podcasts we did, finances are very important and it’s a conversation that needs to happen immediately in the beginning. You need to understand how much this person makes because…

52:27

Who makes more money? Does she make more money? Does he make more money? Because obviously, if she makes more money than him, the lifestyle that she’s probably leading, he may not be able to upkeep. But when you look at it from a positive perspective, he may be a great individual. He’s a great personality,  is a great leader. And you know, as women, we want that. We strive for that. We want a man that’s gonna lead in the right way.

52:56

and in a healthy way. Because to me, that’s more important than if you make less than me. Because  we’ll figure it out. Because when we put our income together, that’s a large amount of money. Exactly.  But if you’re leading me to destruction, gotta go. We got a problem. Now, what I’m gonna say is, fellas, if y’all run across a female,

53:24

that when she speaks, it just sounds like money. Stop her and learn tracks and say, baby girl, I got a job. Do you know what a job stands for? When she asks, what’s that? Say, just over broke.  I can’t be giving you my money. Just over broke. Where’d you get that from? Don’t worry about it.  Did you make that up? No, I didn’t make it up. Somebody hit you off with it. said,  basically, when I was going to VOTEK school.  Oh, it’s old, huh? Yeah. um

53:54

We sitting there and they giving their little speeches and stuff. And it was like, you know, we’re here to give y’all careers, know, this and this, that, whoop, whoop, whoop. He said, but does anybody know what a job stands for?

54:10

So nobody said anything. He said, all right, well, a job stands for it’s J-O-B, Just Over Broke. That thing hit home so good, I said, damn, well, what a career stand for.  Just Over Broke. Yeah, man, I can’t be giving you my money. For real, I got things I gotta do in life. And I’m not gonna let you hold me back. Well, yeah, y’all should be pulling each other up. Yes. That’s how it should be.

54:37

So thank you guys for listening until the next podcast. Have a great one. And hopefully this message resonates with you if you are dating in 2025. Have  a good one.  Thank you for tuning into the show. If you want to continue the conversation or share your takeaways,  head on over to the website or join us on social media.  I want to hear from you.  Don’t forget to rate and subscribe to the podcast so you  never miss an episode.

55:06

chat with you soon.